Plutonic Rainbows

I grew up with a world that still had:

• scarcity
• mystery
• slowness
• locality
• deep engagement
• real community
• real boredom
• real privacy
• analogue warmth
• anticipation
• physicality

And that world is gone forever.

There is a scientific idea I’ve often heard, one that is both beautiful and unsettling: the notion that if you travelled far enough away from the Earth, you could look back and see the world as it was in another year, perhaps even 1990. The idea rests on a simple truth: light takes time to travel. When I look at the Moon, I’m seeing it as it was a little over a second ago. When I look at the Sun, I’m seeing it eight minutes in the past. And when astronomers look at distant galaxies, they are witnessing events that happened millions or billions of years before any human existed. Looking across vast distances is, in a very real physical sense, the same as looking back in time.

By that logic, the light that left Earth in 1990 is still travelling outward into space, carrying with it the faint, scattered imprint of the world as it was then. In theory, if I journeyed tens or hundreds of light-years away and possessed a perfect telescope, I would intercept that old light and see Earth as it appeared in that year. The idea feels almost like a loophole in reality — a scientific whisper that the past still exists somewhere, still moving through the darkness, still intact in the form of ancient photons.

But here is the truth most people overlook: even though the physics is correct, I could never see Earth in any meaningful detail. The light escaping our planet is impossibly faint, dispersed, and chaotic. It does not assemble itself into images of streets, faces, shops, or skies. Even with a telescope far beyond anything humanity has ever imagined, Earth would remain nothing more than a dim, trembling point of light. The practical reality is that the world of 1990 is physically unreachable, no matter how far I travel or how much technology I possess. The idea is scientifically sound but forever beyond reach.

Yet the emotional power of the thought remains. There is something haunting in knowing that the light of 1990 is still out there, still travelling through the universe, still carrying some trace of the world I once inhabited. Even if I can never recover it, even if it can never be seen again, the knowledge that those photons departed Earth at that moment and continue their journey gives the past a strange and fragile persistence. It satisfies a deep human wish: that what mattered to us doesn’t simply vanish, but continues outward in some form, expanding into the dark.

Still, the unsettling truth persists beneath the poetry: even though the light of 1990 still exists somewhere, I can never step into that world again. I cannot re-enter its atmosphere, its sounds, its scents, its daily rhythms. The idea offers a certain comfort, but also a very sharp reminder about the nature of time. For human beings, time moves in only one direction. We cannot return. We can only remember — and even our memories are shadows compared to the worlds we once moved through so easily.

There are moments when I realise, with a kind of cold clarity, that entire worlds I once lived in have vanished. The world of 1990 (its atmosphere, its colours, its sounds, the way people moved and dressed and expected the future to unfold) no longer exists in any living form. And even if I had infinite wealth, every resource ever generated, I still couldn’t return to that world, which is the part that unsettles me. Money can build cities and resurrect brands, but it cannot reconstruct a moment in time. That truth forces me to confront the one boundary I can never cross: time moves forward, and nothing I do can stop it.

When I acknowledge this, I feel how little control I have over the passage of years. I can shape my choices, my surroundings, my routines, but I cannot keep the world from changing, nor can I reopen the doors that have closed behind me. Understanding that the world of a particular year, especially one that shaped me, has disappeared completely is more than historical awareness. It is an encounter with my own mortality. The past doesn’t fade softly; it drops into an unreachable dimension, sealed off from the present no matter how vividly I remember it.

The loss is sharp because I didn’t merely observe that world — I lived inside it. I breathed its air without knowing how temporary it was. I walked streets and listened to music that felt utterly normal at the time, as if they would always be there. When I think back to 1990 now, I’m not just remembering a culture; I’m remembering myself. The person I was then, with that particular set of hopes, perceptions, and innocence, is just as unreachable as the era itself. Letting that sink in brings a kind of grief I didn’t expect to carry into adulthood.

The recent past feels especially cruel in this way. It’s close enough that I can recall it in detail (the fashion, the fragrances, the texture of daylight, the sound of particular voices), yet it remains impossibly far. A vanished world is not like a missing object; I can’t replace it or recover it. Its nearness makes the loss sharper, not softer. The past begins to feel almost autonomous, as if it exists independently of me, watching from a distance I cannot cross. I reach for it, but it has slipped into another realm where I cannot follow.

And yet, the fact that I feel this so strongly tells me something important about myself. I was present in my own life. I noticed things. I absorbed the world as it existed then, and it left an imprint that still lives in me. The emotional weight I feel now isn’t a flaw; it’s evidence that those years mattered. Even though I can never go back, my memory holds what time has taken, and that is its own kind of survival. The world of 1990 is gone forever, but the fact that I mourn it means I truly lived through it — and that, in its own way, is a form of meaning that time cannot erase.

I have been a devotee of Strangelove for quite some time. Their scents are majestic, enigmatic, and seem almost timeless. I suspect this is partly because, as far as I know, they have never been absorbed into a large conglomerate. Their work still carries the depth, craft, and integrity that defined the designer fragrances I discovered as a teenager nearly forty years ago.

Much of that quality has vanished as once-great houses were gradually swallowed by large corporations, and Strangelove stands out precisely because it has refused to follow that path. I own most of the Strangelove collection, but it’s only recently that I’ve started experimenting with layering. My most successful pairing so far has been Dead of Night oil with Fall Into Stars EDP.

This pairing works because each fragrance completes what the other lacks, creating a full architectural structure instead of two overlapping scents. Dead of Night, as an oil, forms a warm, stable foundation on the skin. Its resinous oud, sandalwood, and amber unfold slowly, staying close and intimate. The oil’s low volatility prevents sharp edges and anchors the scent with a sacred, resinous depth that feels devotional and steady.

Fall Into Stars brings the opposite qualities: lift, movement, and radiance. Its volatile aromatic notes rise above the oil rather than sinking into it, creating the effect of warm resin below and incense-like brightness above. Both fragrances use a refined, polished oud profile, so they stay aligned tonally without clashing. Their contrast creates real dimension: Dead of Night is dark and contemplative, while Fall Into Stars is luminous and atmospheric.

Together, the skin’s warmth expands the oil while the alcohol-based spray projects outward, pulling the two layers into a unified aura. There are no competing citrus or sharp top notes, so the blend feels seamless and intentional. The resulting structure naturally evokes a sacred atmosphere: depth, calm, rising incense, space, and quiet intensity. In essence, the oil builds the sacred foundation, the EDP builds the church-like lift, and their ouds harmonise into a coherent, atmospheric whole.

My new cable arrived yesterday and I fitted earlier today. The cable is the Chord ClearwayX 2RCA to 5DIN Analogue Cable.

The network player arrived on Wednesday; I set it up yesterday and have been enjoying it ever since. I finally decided to buy one after decades of listening habits built around physically hunting for a CD every time I wanted to hear something. Now I can listen to more than forty years of accumulated music that I’ve been gradually committing to disk over the past twenty years — including ripping more than 2,000 CDs, along with my collection of hi-res, lossless audio and other formats. Having everything available through streaming adds a different level of convenience: no hunting through shelves, no swapping discs, no manual file management. Just immediate access to the entire library from one place. It’s good to have it all so easily within reach.

Sometimes it feels safer to keep away from old fragrances and old music, because their ability to resurrect the past can be overwhelming, even uncomfortable. Scent and sound work on the deepest parts of the mind, reaching emotion before thought, so the recall arrives too quickly to prepare for. What returns is not just a memory but a former version of myself, a figure I can sense vividly yet can no longer inhabit. These triggers also revive entire social worlds that have vanished — cultural textures, atmospheres, expectations that no longer exist — so the recognition comes wrapped in the realisation of how much has been lost. The past reappears too alive, too intact, while I stand changed, weathered by years that the fragrance or song has never had to endure. Faced with that imbalance, avoidance becomes a form of protection: a way to honour what those things once meant without being pulled back into emotional terrain that feels too raw or destabilising. Keeping them at a distance is not denial; it is self-preservation in the presence of memories that still carry more power than I can comfortably hold.

If you believe the past has autonomy, you acknowledge that progress was never guaranteed. History is full of dead ends, lost causes, and alternatives that never happened. To respect the past’s autonomy is to give weight to those losers of history as much as the winners, because at the time, the outcome was not yet decided.

Do not treat the past as a rehearsal for the present. It was a real, complete world to the people who lived in it, and it deserves to be understood within its own context.

You get to create temporary pockets of order, beauty, meaning, and experience inside a universe that is always unfolding.